don't be an idiot.

go vote.

This is an open letter to those in college dorms, specifically my lovely hallmates.

My Dear Strong Ladies,

Welcome to the dorm experience. Chances are previously you lived in a house or apartment. Maybe you had your own bathroom, or shared it with a few other people, all of whom were related to you and therefore adjusted to your idiosyncrasies. College, however, is different. This is not your house. The dorm bathroom is not YOUR bathroom. In fact, going on the assumption that everyone to the north of the main stairwell uses the north bathroom, you share this bathroom - 3 toilet stalls, 3 showers, and 2 sinks - with 22 other young women, all of whom need to shower and brush their teeth just like you do. Perhaps you are accustomed to certain practices and habits that, while they were acceptable to your family members, do not belong in a communal bathroom such as ours. Therefore allow me to make some suggestions which, if you follow them, will make everyone like you more and lower my blood pressure by a few points.

Ten Tips for Bathroom Happiness

1. Do not dry your hair in the bathroom. I don't care that there are a few outlets over the sink. This is why you have outlets and a mirror in your room. Standing there for 20 minutes in front of the door with your hair dryer is obnoxious and intrusive to the flow of other people going in and out.

2. Do not leave your things in the shower. Leaving a towel or shampoo bottle for a few minutes says "I'll be right back, don't take the shower." Leaving a towel for a long period of time says "I'm inconsiderate and treat the shower like my personal drying rack." This also applies to clothes; I know you may handwash your stuff, but get a drying rack for your room. Don't take up all the hooks in the shower stalls with your massive collection of lacey bras.

3. The bathroom is not a kitchen. I know that it's a long trek to the kitchen downstairs, so I understand why you like to wash your dishes in our sinks. That's fine. Washing every single utensil you own and arraying them, along with the 37 different parts to your fancy Mr. Espresso coffee grinder, on the counter is NOT fine. This particularly applies when you leave your dishes to dry for over a week at a time. At this point I begin to think that perhaps you would like me to take your pretty matching ceramic bowl and plate and add them to my collection.

4. Clean up the shower when you're done. No one wants to see your nasty wad of hair, whether it's clogging the drain or smeared on the walls.

5. Clean up the sink when you're done. If you slop water all over the counter, wipe it up with a towel. If you choose to brush your hair over the sink, don't leave a collection of hair all over the counter and in the sink. Don't leave gobs of toothpaste encrusted to the sink edge. That is what we call "gross."

6. Pee IN the toilet, ladies. I never thought that girls would have a problem with this, but it seems some of us have a bit of a problem aiming. Maybe you're paranoid about germs, or your mother taught you that sitting on a public toilet will give you herpes, HIV, *and* impregnate you. If this is an issue, wipe down the seat with some TP first. Don't half-squat/hover over the seat, unless you plan on moping up the floor and the toilet seat afterwards.

7. You get ONE cubby. Yes, girls have lots of bath stuff. We have our razors and our thirteen varieties of shampoo/conditioner based on the level of humidity as measured by our portable barometric pressure meters and whether or not it's Thursday, which is the day we have class with that cute guy who is almost positively not gay. But that does not justify taking over more than one shower cubby with our things, now does it? Your poofy loofah and toothbrush can coexist, I assure you. If you have multiple washclothes, do not use an extra cubby rack to dry them. Last year I watched as one cubby went from having one washcloth to about 10. Can't you just reuse the same one, and throw it in the laundry once in a while?

8. Trash goes IN the trash can. Not near the trash, not next to the trash, not across the room from the trash.

9. The custodial staff are not your maids. They exist so we have a steady stock of TP, paper towels, and soap; so that the toilets and showers don't get gross from all that use; and so that the trash bin doesn't overflow and bury us all in an avalanche of used paper towels. They do not exist to clean up your messes. YOU exist to clean up your messes. Just be glad you're not expected to scrub the shower once a week.

10. Flush the toilet. Please.